By Terje Ellingsen
Good parenting, to a high extent is based on common sense. At least it should be. If you want to raise your children with success, ask yourself as the life experienced person you are, which values do I want to transfer to them as a parent which are in accordance to my own, true values and beliefs? As parents we know that it is not always easy to raise our kids the way we know we should. As long as you are aware that the way you raise them day by day, will influence them for the rest of their lives, literally shaping their attitudes and personalities - your love to your kids will motivate you to do a good nurturing job. So your job as a parent is first and foremost to instill in them the values and attitudes that you know are important.
Good parents never put their children down
When you, as a parent insult your child, you lower their self image or confidence whether you mean to or not. Hence, you should endeavour to establish and keep a positive raising style. Negative reactions from the parents can cause fear and distrust in children. So if you want to build a healthy relationships between you and your children, avoid negativity and focus on the positive, even though this is not always that easy.
One of my friends who is raising two fairly uncontrollable kids has much to learn in this respect. Time after time I have observed his tendency to put them down and this nurturing style has already caused problems with the child’s behaviour only to pass this behaviour down to the next generation. I don't know how many times I have told him that being positive parents is the best way to raise a child. I still have hope that he will put this advice into practice before it is too late.
Good raising entails communicating with your children in a positive affirmative manner
One of the best things you can do as a good parent is to speak to your children in a positive, affirmative manner. What do I mean with that? Let's say you are bothered with problems. Remember that your child did not responsible for your problems. They should not have to suffer because of it. Don’t demean your child, but engage them in honest positive communication and let them know what your problem is and that they are not the cause of it and that you need them to behave in a manner in which you need not have to chastise them, allowing you to concentrate on a solution for the problems that are bothering you. Give them a chance to show you that they understand and allow them to feel part of a tightly knit family.
There are lots of great resources online for parents on how to raise children which will help you become a great parent. Just go online and do a search and you'll receive more than enough resources to learn from.
Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self_Improvement.net
Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self improvement issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, affirmative self confidence improvement as well as parenting and other relational issues.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Terje_Ellingsen
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Teenagers and Stress: What Parents Can Do to Help
By Sue Blaney
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how to support their teenagers who are complaining about the stress in their lives.
What parents may not realize, is that what they do every day by providing healthy food, support, and a comforting home, provides the very stress-antidotes their teens need. Deborah Weinstock-Savoy, Ph.D.,a psychologist who specializes in working with families says “The basic nurturing that parents offer in providing a loving and comfortable home is the first line of defense.”
Weinstock-Savoy points out that home should be a place where kids can re-charge their batteries, feel safe and supported. When teenagers have the support they need, when they eat right and get enough sleep, they usually have much of what it takes to manage the stress they will confront.
Parents can help teens in some specific ways, too. Primarily this has to do with teaching, or coaching their teenagers toward problem solving. Parents need to “engage the teen’s owns sense of what s/he needs,” says Weinstock-Savoy. She says parents and their teenagers can explore this together, with the teen being asked to offer insight and suggestions, as usually kids have ideas about this. This is the direction parents need to take because it helps the teen develop necessary coping and problem-solving skills.
Assisting kids in becoming more self-aware is an extension of this thought. It may not be immediately obvious to kids, so parents should help guide them to a growing awareness of themselves, which will help them learn to identify situations, and solutions. Through this they begin to develop strategies that will be tools they will use for the rest of their lives.
While this family specialist makes these recommendations, she is quick to admit that sometimes parents are faced with “kids who won’t allow them to share their wisdom with them.”
This makes it important for parents to help ensure their teenager has other adults in whom s/he can confide and go to for advice. “Parents need to identify for themselves who else is out there, who else will help provide advice, help their teens safe, and offer support.” She calls this “extending the mantle of support,” and points out that this is as important for parents as it is for kids. Parents should know the adults in their teens life to some extent; knowing that they share your families values and will be providing sound advice is another way of providing support for your child, only this time it’s from behind the scenes.
What are the biggest sources of stress for teenagers? “Peer relationships and managing school,” according to Weinstock-Savoy. She points out that kids need to have a sense of belonging with their peers. This provides an important buffer and helps them deal with the stress they confront. Missing this, the resulting sense of loneliness serves to increases their stress. School, and all that entails, is often a source of stress for teenagers. And thirdly, the important developmental steps they are taking during adolescence in developing their identity also create stress. Although this is a more abstract concept, it is an important part of the life of teenagers.
Parents who are tuned in to their teenagers, sensitive in providing support, encouragement, love and a nurturing home environment are doing all the right things to help their kids learn to deal with the stress they confront in typical situations every day.
© 2004 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child’s Middle School Years. As a communications professional and the parent of two teenagers, she speaks frequently to parents and schools about parenting issues, improving communications and creating parent discussion groups. Visit our website at http://www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sue_Blaney
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how to support their teenagers who are complaining about the stress in their lives.
What parents may not realize, is that what they do every day by providing healthy food, support, and a comforting home, provides the very stress-antidotes their teens need. Deborah Weinstock-Savoy, Ph.D.,a psychologist who specializes in working with families says “The basic nurturing that parents offer in providing a loving and comfortable home is the first line of defense.”
Weinstock-Savoy points out that home should be a place where kids can re-charge their batteries, feel safe and supported. When teenagers have the support they need, when they eat right and get enough sleep, they usually have much of what it takes to manage the stress they will confront.
Parents can help teens in some specific ways, too. Primarily this has to do with teaching, or coaching their teenagers toward problem solving. Parents need to “engage the teen’s owns sense of what s/he needs,” says Weinstock-Savoy. She says parents and their teenagers can explore this together, with the teen being asked to offer insight and suggestions, as usually kids have ideas about this. This is the direction parents need to take because it helps the teen develop necessary coping and problem-solving skills.
Assisting kids in becoming more self-aware is an extension of this thought. It may not be immediately obvious to kids, so parents should help guide them to a growing awareness of themselves, which will help them learn to identify situations, and solutions. Through this they begin to develop strategies that will be tools they will use for the rest of their lives.
While this family specialist makes these recommendations, she is quick to admit that sometimes parents are faced with “kids who won’t allow them to share their wisdom with them.”
This makes it important for parents to help ensure their teenager has other adults in whom s/he can confide and go to for advice. “Parents need to identify for themselves who else is out there, who else will help provide advice, help their teens safe, and offer support.” She calls this “extending the mantle of support,” and points out that this is as important for parents as it is for kids. Parents should know the adults in their teens life to some extent; knowing that they share your families values and will be providing sound advice is another way of providing support for your child, only this time it’s from behind the scenes.
What are the biggest sources of stress for teenagers? “Peer relationships and managing school,” according to Weinstock-Savoy. She points out that kids need to have a sense of belonging with their peers. This provides an important buffer and helps them deal with the stress they confront. Missing this, the resulting sense of loneliness serves to increases their stress. School, and all that entails, is often a source of stress for teenagers. And thirdly, the important developmental steps they are taking during adolescence in developing their identity also create stress. Although this is a more abstract concept, it is an important part of the life of teenagers.
Parents who are tuned in to their teenagers, sensitive in providing support, encouragement, love and a nurturing home environment are doing all the right things to help their kids learn to deal with the stress they confront in typical situations every day.
© 2004 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child’s Middle School Years. As a communications professional and the parent of two teenagers, she speaks frequently to parents and schools about parenting issues, improving communications and creating parent discussion groups. Visit our website at http://www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sue_Blaney
Monday, September 17, 2007
Help For Those Parenting An Only Child
By Nicole Calhoun
Are you the parent of an only child? Has it been a challenge for you? If you’re like us, you have to be creative in keeping your little one occupied. Otherwise, you get to relive your childhood all over again because you become your child’s consummate playmate.
I always imagined I’d have a houseful of children. There were five of us growing up, and in my young heart, I dreamed that I would have the same number of children my parents had because of all the fun (and sometimes mischief) my siblings and I had with one another. If anyone would’ve told me that by the time my son turned ten that he would not have any siblings, I would’ve laughed and called them crazy! But, that’s just what happened.
Getting pregnant with our one and only was a cinch. In fact, it was so easy, my husband and I thought we were Mr. and Mrs. Fertility. We knew for sure Baby Number Two would come as natural as the sun rising in the east. You can probably imagine our disappointment when after a year of trying again, and still no baby for the effort.
Fortunately, in our case, neither of us had any health problems. For whatever reason, it just hadn’t happened. To our surprise, we were informed that a large segment of the population has trouble conceiving the second time around. Do you think that has stopped our son from reminding us that he would love a brother or sister…soon? Of course not!
So, we’ve implemented what we call “Operation Brotherly Love”. Our son is clueless when it comes to O.B.L. But, he joyfully reaps the benefits of the system we put in place for entertaining our little one.
Being an only child, we worried that it would cause our son to be shy. And at first, he was. But thanks to “Operation Brotherly Love,” I’m proud to announce that our boy is a social butterfly.
Here’s what O.B.L. is all about: surrounding your child with other children that they can interact with! And boy is it fun! Enlist help from neighbors! Get to know the parents of classmates. Got nieces or nephews? They’re the perfect playmates for your unaccompanied minor!
Granted, this may cause your house to look like the local recreation center on the weekend, but it certainly gives you a break from having to spend countless hours playing dolls or video games. My son now has more “sisters and brothers” to play with than any other child I know. Yours can, too!
Nicole enjoys spending time with her son, Jordan and her husband, Muri. She loves to write, read, travel, working from home and making new friends. If you would like to spend more time with your love ones please contact Nicole.
http://www.fulltimefamily.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nicole_Calhoun
Are you the parent of an only child? Has it been a challenge for you? If you’re like us, you have to be creative in keeping your little one occupied. Otherwise, you get to relive your childhood all over again because you become your child’s consummate playmate.
I always imagined I’d have a houseful of children. There were five of us growing up, and in my young heart, I dreamed that I would have the same number of children my parents had because of all the fun (and sometimes mischief) my siblings and I had with one another. If anyone would’ve told me that by the time my son turned ten that he would not have any siblings, I would’ve laughed and called them crazy! But, that’s just what happened.
Getting pregnant with our one and only was a cinch. In fact, it was so easy, my husband and I thought we were Mr. and Mrs. Fertility. We knew for sure Baby Number Two would come as natural as the sun rising in the east. You can probably imagine our disappointment when after a year of trying again, and still no baby for the effort.
Fortunately, in our case, neither of us had any health problems. For whatever reason, it just hadn’t happened. To our surprise, we were informed that a large segment of the population has trouble conceiving the second time around. Do you think that has stopped our son from reminding us that he would love a brother or sister…soon? Of course not!
So, we’ve implemented what we call “Operation Brotherly Love”. Our son is clueless when it comes to O.B.L. But, he joyfully reaps the benefits of the system we put in place for entertaining our little one.
Being an only child, we worried that it would cause our son to be shy. And at first, he was. But thanks to “Operation Brotherly Love,” I’m proud to announce that our boy is a social butterfly.
Here’s what O.B.L. is all about: surrounding your child with other children that they can interact with! And boy is it fun! Enlist help from neighbors! Get to know the parents of classmates. Got nieces or nephews? They’re the perfect playmates for your unaccompanied minor!
Granted, this may cause your house to look like the local recreation center on the weekend, but it certainly gives you a break from having to spend countless hours playing dolls or video games. My son now has more “sisters and brothers” to play with than any other child I know. Yours can, too!
Nicole enjoys spending time with her son, Jordan and her husband, Muri. She loves to write, read, travel, working from home and making new friends. If you would like to spend more time with your love ones please contact Nicole.
http://www.fulltimefamily.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nicole_Calhoun
It's OK to Slack - The Lazy Mother's Guide to Parenting
By Danny Concannon
There’s a book currently storming the French bestseller lists. It’s called No Kid: Forty Reasons Not Having Children by Corinne Maier. Now you might expect this to be the rantings of a childless woman, but no, Ms Maier is a mother of two. Which makes it infinitely more appealing – not just to couples who’ve decided to bypass parenthood, but also to parents who feel ‘frustrated’ by child-rearing (ie as though their offspring is draining their very lifeblood).
The timing of Maier’s book couldn’t be more poignant given the current baby mania sweeping France. Government incentives are partly responsible for a reverse in the declining birth rate (French women have an average 1.94 children, compared with 1.78 in Britain). Maier says “In France, people go on too much about the glory of motherhood and you’re not allowed to talk about all the problems having kids causes. I thought it would be fun to take a dig at the myth that having a child is wonderful”.
She has a point. Let’s be honest, while we’re all delighted that Claudia Schiffer can slink back into her skinny jeans a mere 15 minutes after giving birth, the whole Yummy Mummy phenomenon is dull and frankly passé (a question mark over whether any Yummy Mummies actually existed in the first place?) And who wouldn’t rather read about Kate Moss and her legendary partying than how Apple Paltrow loves her humous and olives?
I’m a mother to a daughter aged 6 and a son aged 3 and I love my children with my heart. My children are also the reason that happy hour sometimes starts at 4pm in my house. Whilst I genuinely love spending time with my children I am also happy to admit that days spent cleaning felt tip off walls, poo off bottoms and spaghetti off floors I find marginally less than fulfilling. And is there really any shame in that?
Danny Concannon writes for Baby Says Hello a birth announcement website. They pride themselves on helping you to create high quality personalised baby cards
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Danny_Concannon
There’s a book currently storming the French bestseller lists. It’s called No Kid: Forty Reasons Not Having Children by Corinne Maier. Now you might expect this to be the rantings of a childless woman, but no, Ms Maier is a mother of two. Which makes it infinitely more appealing – not just to couples who’ve decided to bypass parenthood, but also to parents who feel ‘frustrated’ by child-rearing (ie as though their offspring is draining their very lifeblood).
The timing of Maier’s book couldn’t be more poignant given the current baby mania sweeping France. Government incentives are partly responsible for a reverse in the declining birth rate (French women have an average 1.94 children, compared with 1.78 in Britain). Maier says “In France, people go on too much about the glory of motherhood and you’re not allowed to talk about all the problems having kids causes. I thought it would be fun to take a dig at the myth that having a child is wonderful”.
She has a point. Let’s be honest, while we’re all delighted that Claudia Schiffer can slink back into her skinny jeans a mere 15 minutes after giving birth, the whole Yummy Mummy phenomenon is dull and frankly passé (a question mark over whether any Yummy Mummies actually existed in the first place?) And who wouldn’t rather read about Kate Moss and her legendary partying than how Apple Paltrow loves her humous and olives?
I’m a mother to a daughter aged 6 and a son aged 3 and I love my children with my heart. My children are also the reason that happy hour sometimes starts at 4pm in my house. Whilst I genuinely love spending time with my children I am also happy to admit that days spent cleaning felt tip off walls, poo off bottoms and spaghetti off floors I find marginally less than fulfilling. And is there really any shame in that?
Danny Concannon writes for Baby Says Hello a birth announcement website. They pride themselves on helping you to create high quality personalised baby cards
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Danny_Concannon
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